You humans possess such a wealth of gems in your various languages. Fiasco. Debacle. Balls-up.
It was never on the cards that the Mega-Santa and his band of helpers were going to switch on the Xmas lights as the climax of our festive float parade (despite attempted bribery and threats). Equally, I am buggered if we will be held responsible for plunging most of Cornwall into darkness and causing the resultant chaos.
If we were planning to commit such an outrage, the entire Ambrose Posse would have been on the shoreline, wrecking and plundering cargo vessels of canned fruit, not kettled into an urban cul-de-sac and forced to defend ourselves in an unseemly brawl against a belligerent mob of riot polis.
Mordecai and Uncle Lucas were in full view at all times so the ridiculous allegation that they tampered with electricity substations doesn't deserve further comment. Okay, the punch-up between Cheryl and Auntie P was regrettable, but bound to happen sooner or later. They have been bickering about who is going to cook Xmas dinner for ages. I hope some sort of mediation can now be arranged, or it is going to be an interesting 25th down the mine.
I am not sure it would be fair to apportion blame to Groida either, but I'll put me thinking cap on and see if I can come up with something incriminating overnight ...
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