Top marks for the new "Foyle's War". I am going to get a hat like his, although I'll have to make holes in it for my antennae.
I am thinking about setting the story for our forthcoming fillum in post-war Cornwall, including elements of Foyle, Wycliffe and Jonathan Creak. Yours truly would play a famous and heroic escapologist brought out of retirement to fight the forces of naughtiness and retrieve much-needed canned produce lost at sea during WW2 in my wonder-vehicle, for the good of our nation (with a 50% bounty, of course).
Cheryl The Frighteningly Large Earwig could be my fiesty assistant in a ginger wig and affecting a Scottish accent and Groida would be perfect filling the role of my arch-enemy, if he doesn't get a fit of the sulks.
Inspiration, or what?
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Artistic Differences
If you want something done properly, do it yourself. Or at least delegate the task to a creature with more than two legs and half a brain.
The so-called creative folk who were supposed to be making a cinematic magnus opossum about "The Big A Gang - An Investigation" have turned out to be a bunch of subversive buggers. Even a simpleton like Groida twigged what was going on. You extrude the widdle from proud and very large insects at an astronomical cost.
We did over the Dorchester Hotel a few years back after a dispute regarding the bill, gave a spanking to that unwholesome nest of cheeky Aznavours shortly afterwards and broadcast to the world about it. You would have thought that would have been warning enough, but evidently not. Vengeance is on the cards and this time we shall ensure that all from Inuit to Eskimo are made aware of the wrath emanating from the furiously beating breast of Padstow.
The scheming rotters who attempted to con our eager crew into appearing in the fake fillum have been exposed as very naughty. They were after the Posse's most secret moments, their intentions to portray us as a gang of fraudulent, intimidating racketeers and wreckers of merchant maritime vessels.
I have the utmost faith in the just laws of this country, but failing that, I'll drag us out of the mire with bribes, threats or microscopic technicalities. Pull up the ladder Ambrose, the Green Feller's team are all right!
This hopelessly conceived project will be reborn as "Ambrose - The Movie" with the rousing legend "You Will Believe A Mantis Can Play The Harmonium". I can and you will. A few more container ships lost on the Lizard and the clapperboards with be going like crickets in summer!
The so-called creative folk who were supposed to be making a cinematic magnus opossum about "The Big A Gang - An Investigation" have turned out to be a bunch of subversive buggers. Even a simpleton like Groida twigged what was going on. You extrude the widdle from proud and very large insects at an astronomical cost.
We did over the Dorchester Hotel a few years back after a dispute regarding the bill, gave a spanking to that unwholesome nest of cheeky Aznavours shortly afterwards and broadcast to the world about it. You would have thought that would have been warning enough, but evidently not. Vengeance is on the cards and this time we shall ensure that all from Inuit to Eskimo are made aware of the wrath emanating from the furiously beating breast of Padstow.
The scheming rotters who attempted to con our eager crew into appearing in the fake fillum have been exposed as very naughty. They were after the Posse's most secret moments, their intentions to portray us as a gang of fraudulent, intimidating racketeers and wreckers of merchant maritime vessels.
I have the utmost faith in the just laws of this country, but failing that, I'll drag us out of the mire with bribes, threats or microscopic technicalities. Pull up the ladder Ambrose, the Green Feller's team are all right!
This hopelessly conceived project will be reborn as "Ambrose - The Movie" with the rousing legend "You Will Believe A Mantis Can Play The Harmonium". I can and you will. A few more container ships lost on the Lizard and the clapperboards with be going like crickets in summer!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Happy Ambrose Day!
Yes folks, today is declared the very firstest ever Ambrose Day. Festivities are already under way with the playful throwing of Vim and Eno liver salts (it was all we could come up with in the absence of powder paint). Groida is blowing Haribo sweeties out of a length of drain pipe and has managed to score a direct hit between Mordecai's peepers.
Auntie Pamela is boiling up a vast cauldron of curried liver and dumplings so there will be an exotic aroma and strange, squeaky melodies on the wind probably until past dawn.
This is a direct response to you humans and your insulting "Insect Days" when you let loose your unruly offspring in shopping centres across the land. If you want to see what really goes on when we let our antennae down, pop over to the tin mine for a real knees-up (all half a dozen of 'em in most cases). Bring a bottle of Tizer and some Findus pancakes for the fire ...
Auntie Pamela is boiling up a vast cauldron of curried liver and dumplings so there will be an exotic aroma and strange, squeaky melodies on the wind probably until past dawn.
This is a direct response to you humans and your insulting "Insect Days" when you let loose your unruly offspring in shopping centres across the land. If you want to see what really goes on when we let our antennae down, pop over to the tin mine for a real knees-up (all half a dozen of 'em in most cases). Bring a bottle of Tizer and some Findus pancakes for the fire ...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)