Well, things are all set for the fillum. Auntie P's and Uncle Lucas's animosity towards the production team has evaporated, especially since they have been promised the opportunity to perform a dance number. I am not quite sure if the world is ready for two lumbering mega-scorpions attempting to emulate the graceful moves of Fred and Ginger but I suspect the results will be a high-scorer on YouTube for years.
Mordecai is displaying uncharacteristic shyness over the project, but I am confident he will give of his best once the cameras are rolling. If he wees himself, however, I may have to consider emigrating. I may also have to rein in Cheryl if she becomes overenthustastic and threatens to show us up. I will ensure Y Nauci 14 is loaded with some tranquiliser harpoons to be on the safe side
I'll work out what to do about Groida later. I've enough vexations to bring on a migraine as it is. He seems quite happy in his own little world and is best left there (as long as he is kept away from high voltages and explosives).
Unbeknownst to the producers, I have taken it upon myself to write the music for the fillum. When did you last hear a harmonium on a soundtrack? That should shift a few CD's and downloads. Ker-ching. Hehehe! I am working on the title song, loosely based on "The Lost Chord" by that celebrated pair Gilbert O'Sullivan and Jimmy Durante. I haven't decided whether to perform it myself or ask Auntie P, who sounds like a cross between Bonnie Tyler and a jet engine.
Keep tuned for more exciting news ...
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
A Star Is Green
It truly is an ill wind that blows no good, and I am not for once referring to Groida's toxic rectal emissions.
You may recall the unfortunate disturbances which broke out around our Xmas float in Padstow last year and I mentioned that it caught the attention of a TV crew. Well, it looks as if the Ambrose Posse is going to be the subject of a documentary fillum!
Negotiations are still in progress but some researchers have been over for a recce and were blown away by our new underground railway. Unfortunately they made the mistake of calling it a "ghost train" and now all three mega-scorpions refuse to communicate with them in anything but an outrageous and politically incorrect pidgin English. Anyway, as regular readers will be aware, there is a lot more to us than a "Duppy Choo-Choo".
The only downside is that after nearly convincing Cheryl to give herself up and be deported back to Texas, she now wants to hang on to bask in our fame (and no doubt spend the rest of her days over here like those other haggard Hoosiers; Michael Brandon, David Soul and Suzi Quatro).
Knowing me as you do, I guarantee tough terms and a bloody great wedge of royalties. Merchandising should bring in a few bob as well. It may even be worth my while dusting down the plans for an Ambrose dolly. Hopefully this one won't self-decapitate. Exciting times, eh?
You may recall the unfortunate disturbances which broke out around our Xmas float in Padstow last year and I mentioned that it caught the attention of a TV crew. Well, it looks as if the Ambrose Posse is going to be the subject of a documentary fillum!
Negotiations are still in progress but some researchers have been over for a recce and were blown away by our new underground railway. Unfortunately they made the mistake of calling it a "ghost train" and now all three mega-scorpions refuse to communicate with them in anything but an outrageous and politically incorrect pidgin English. Anyway, as regular readers will be aware, there is a lot more to us than a "Duppy Choo-Choo".
The only downside is that after nearly convincing Cheryl to give herself up and be deported back to Texas, she now wants to hang on to bask in our fame (and no doubt spend the rest of her days over here like those other haggard Hoosiers; Michael Brandon, David Soul and Suzi Quatro).
Knowing me as you do, I guarantee tough terms and a bloody great wedge of royalties. Merchandising should bring in a few bob as well. It may even be worth my while dusting down the plans for an Ambrose dolly. Hopefully this one won't self-decapitate. Exciting times, eh?
Saturday, February 9, 2013
No Spare Time, No Spare Limbs
Look, I'll write on Monday, Okay? Give me a break. I'm trying to stop Auntie Pamela from strangling Uncle Lucas, Mordecai has pranged the harmonium and Groida's croup is back. It is more than one mantis can cope with, never mind trying to maintain a journalistic career. Monday deadline. Honest insect!
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