I am wearing the silly hat, okay? I would have preferred a large jiffy bag as Auntie P has marshaled most of the crew for carol practice or "howls from Hades" as I describe the experience.
At least I am spared the dolorous bass drone of Uncle Lucas, who has sealed off all horizontal shafts at level 3 and won't come out. There is a lot of noise and sweary Welsh going on in there at all hours. Mark my words, he is up to something.
Even without the Chill from Rhyl casting a pall of morbid gloom over the festivities, Cheryl has brought her own bizarre Texan religious enthusiasm to the proceedings. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face during "In the Bleak Midwinter" whilst a gargantuan earwig walks on hot coals, holding aloft a score of bibles and an equal number of squirming adders? Send her back, I say.
Anyway, if Uncle Lucas doesn't cause a collapse in the mine, I hope to have a few words to say before the big day. If I am otherwise detained or entombed, I hope all me fans have a jolly time of it! Merry Xmas and a happy new year!
P.S. Do any of you with long memories remember if I mentioned where Mordecai put the Sellotape after we had wrapped the presents last year? Just wondered, that's all.
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