Trials of the remote control harpoon have met with mixed results. In manoeuvring Y Nauci 14 off road and onto the harbour wall, we managed to run over and crush a row of bicycles but fortunately the noise didn't disturb the slumbering locals. Then Bro and I got into a bit of a scuffle over who would have first go, until Uncle Lucas restored order by threatening to shoot the pair of us with it.
Anyway, we managed to bag three warning buoys and a passing plywood door, so there is nothing wrong with the guidance system, but until we encounter a genuine shipwreck we cannot really prove the device's worth. Groida - who else? - suggested fitting a small warhead and putting a hole in a container vessel. I suspect the mentally enfeebled lout has been reading Daphne du Maurier's "Jamaica Inn".
I sarcastically enquired why we should stop at wrecking but perhaps go in for a bit of piracy and the dolt replied he was up for it, and even has a suitable hat. I considered clouting him but after Uncle Lucas's earlier display of Mega-Scorpion diplomacy - and the prospect of no supper from Auntie Pamela - I thought better of it. Instead I presented the dozy pillock with a bar of rum & raisin chocolate, along with firm instructions to sit and eat it quietly, without interference, comment or any signal of his presence.
The notion of launching missiles at defenceless merchant marine traffic is abhorrent to me. Far less suspicion is aroused by luring them aground or onto rocks. With that in mind, I am designing a model decoy lighthouse to fit atop the harmonium. Softly, softly catchee lychee (in syrup).
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