I wish to make it clear that I am in no way connected to the Ambrosia factory in neighbouring Devon, or played any part in the unfortunate mishap which occurred there yesterday. Anyone whose vivid imagination or prejudice against my good self leads them to fuel such rumours is a sod and will incur my wrath at a later date, once the harmonium is up and running again.
As a matter of fact I was bobbing about just off The Lizard, in a borrowed RNLI vessel, trying to rescue several crates of canned guava chunks from a watery grave. Being denied Y Nauci 14's amphibious capabilities is a pain in the nether regions. Uncle Lucas reckons it could be another couple of weeks before the old girl is ready for the fray (unlike Auntie P, who has been laying down the law again).
I don't know how we are going to pull Santa's charity float through the town. Perhaps I could persuade Cheryl the Frighteningly Large Earwig to do the honours, wearing a pair of fake antlers. It's worth asking, anyway.
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