Okay, what's all this nonsense about siting ground-to-air missile launchers on the roofs of residential tower blocks around London? You would think we were still fighting World War One.
Y Nauci 14, "The Harmonium of Doom" is mobile, bristling with things that can swat an aerial threat like a gnat off a basking buttock and is well and truly up to the challenge our nation currently faces. It also plays a good tune to keep up morale and can lay waste to an entire hostile neighbourhood of native malcontents if we get another season of rioting. The airburst mortars would be deployed before anyone could draw breath to whistle "Dardanella". What are the authorities waiting for? Sign the contract, folks and Uncle Ambrose will see you right.
If you relish the spectacle of murderous Riffs and rabid Berbers laid low and vanquished from our sacred shores, I'm yer mantis. Poised at the deadly keyboard I can bugger up 21st century terrorism and civil unrest whilst banging out a comprehensive medley of Steven Foster weepies. London 2012? Bring it on! (I have my own sheet music and public performance licence).
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